On the occasion of National Payroll Week (and it is, you know), we seriously considered recycling one of our favorite HR Strange but True items, an April 2006 story about songs commissioned by the American Payroll Association (APA) to "celebrate the payroll professional."
Veteran readers of this column will remember that we were tickled by song titles that included "We are the APA," "Working on the Payroll," "The Payroll Blues," and the unforgettable "Kiss My Payroll."
We were even more amused by lyrics that included:
I've been here for 16 hours
The job is still not done
It's quarter past midnight
And the software still won't run
Country, jazz, rock 'n roll
Payroll music's in our soul
We are here to play
The music of the APA
But leave it to the APA to save us from our sloth.
When we revisited their website this week, we found a new song has been added that is, in our humble opinion, clearly the jewel of the payroll song anthology.
"The Payroll Hunt" begins with an elaborate overture replete with trumpeting elephants and roaring lions.
Close your eyes and you can picture a pith-helmeted cast as they begin to sing:
We're on a hunt!
We're on a payroll hunt
We're tracking down the beast
Is here to guide us!
And later, with apologies to Jethro Tull, no doubt:
We're on safari!
Hacking our way
Through the payroll jungle
So all those statements
We won't bungle ...
If you're lost in the undergrowth
Of all the regulations
If you're sinking in the quicksand
Of a lack of motivation
If you're out on a limb
Without an education
If the IRS gives you
Fear and trepidation
Join us in a hunt!
Knowledge and information
We will attain
From gambling and distractions
We will abstain ...
As before, we were struck by the professional quality of the production, and we would wager that the musicians and singers celebrated a pretty hefty payroll of their own.
Frankly, we can't begin to do justice to the song, and we strongly urge you to plug in your headphones, open up an Excel spreadsheet for cover, and then click here (it may take little while to download or start playing, but it's worth it).
Source: The APA Song Collection