It was too important for the Portuguese to keep to themselves: The A** Kisser's Manual: The Art of Keeping Your Boss Happy, is now available in English.
First published in 1993 by Brazilian journalist Ademar Gomes, the 72-page manual offers advice and tips for novice and veteran a** kissers alike (they spell out the term; we will not). Gomes died in 2003, but his daughter brought the English translation to this country, and it's now available in paperback for $7.95 (or $5.95 for the downloadable version).
The manual also has a supporting website www.akisser.com where members can share a**-kissing tips and tricks, get in the running for "A** Kisser of the Month," and even get a framable certificate of membership.
According to the website, some of the tenets of good a** kissing include:
"All available research shows that the practice of a** kissing grows every day, but there hasn't been a community base to bring these proud people together," said publicist Lise Kaufman.
- Look good, but never too good
- Achieve absolute subservience
- Your problems are meaningless
- Court the wife
- The boss, the world, and you... in that order
- Happily accept blame
- Protecting the boss is protecting yourself
- Be grateful, be thankful... even in death
- Standing up for boss is standing up for yourself